Questions

Do you think They can hear us talking,

the Angels,

Even when we don't say a word?

Do you think that They watch over us,

Protect us

Even when we don't believe?

Do you think that They perform miracles

to make us believe?

Do you think that They walk among us

Performing random acts of kindness

Even when nobody cares?

They are the good in this world of evil.

Believe in Them,

And They believe in You.

11:11

It's 11:11, make a wish.

Go on, make another wish

To add to the wishes that will never come true.

It's 11:11.

Go on little girl, make a wish

To add to the expectations that will never be reality.

It's 11:11

What are you going to wish for?

When the World Turns Its Back, Who Can You Turn To?

I stand staring as their backs slowly start to turn, one by one.

That is when the rain starts falling and my heart starts sinking.

I call out, "I need you, don't go!"

But they keep walking as if they never heard me,

as if they never knew me.

A sharp pain rises in my chest

and I fall to my knees in surrender to the pain.

How can they leave now, knowing that I need them?

The rain is coming down harder now.

They said they cared, they promised to be there for me, and yet they turn their backs just like that.

It is as if the world is turning its back on me.

Where do I go from here?

I can still see them, in pairs walking towards the dark horizon.

My body trembles in fear, in sadness.

My head is spinning with questions

Why....

Why....

Why...

Suddenly a light breaks through the clouds and the rain stops, my tears.

I know it is them watching over me...the three angels that are always there.

That is when I heard the voice calling me from behind where my back was facing.

"We are here for you. We've always been here for you."

I turn around and in the bright, blinding horizon I see them.

Four silhouettes reaching out to me.

The ones I can count on when the rest of the world turns its back on me.

The Morning Train

Every time he saw her beautiful face, she always looked so sad.
He saw her on his way to work, on the morning train.
She was the most beautiful girl he had ever seen with her pale skin, green eyes, and that long, flowing auburn hair.
But he never understood why she was so sad; he didn't see a reason why.
Despite her sadness, he loved seeing her every morning and it always made his train rides that much better.

***

She felt stuck; she felt bored.
She had lived in this city her entire life.
She never left and it was likely she would never leave.
She didn't care too much for the life she was leading.
Sure she had a steady job and a good income, but there was a lot lacking.
Tragedy seemed to follow her around.
Abusive father and an absent mother didn't make for a fairy tale childhood.
And having every friend she ever made move away, didn't help much either.
She was disappointed in life, in herself.
She just wanted excitement, adventure, to get out of this town.

***

After six months of seeing her on the train, he decided that today was the day he would make contact.
The train arrived and he stepped on.
There she was, sitting in a powder blue dress reading the newspaper.
God, she's beautiful he thought when he saw her.
The seat next to her was empty and he took this as a sign.
He slowly made his way to the seat next to her, butterflies filling his stomach.
And when he got to her and the empty seat, he sat down.

***

She sat on the train reading the current events section in the paper.
They were all poorly written articles, but the stories behind them, were all exciting.
Anything was more exciting than her life.
Just as she was thinking about how unexciting her life was, someone sat down next to her.
No one ever sat next to her on the morning train.
She looked at him.
Her heart quickened.
She thought he was amazing, with his olive skin and pale blue eyes.
That's when he turned his head and he caught her eye.
So she did what felt most natural to her,
She smiled.

***

Oh my gosh, she just smiled at me, he thought.
He couldn't believe she just smiled at him.
He couldn't believe that all of this was happening that this step, this risk was actually working.
And after the rush of his thoughts, he finally remembered to smile back.
He just wanted to say something, but wasn't sure exactly what to say.
He just sat there thinking.
And when he finally figured out what to say, the train stopped.
It was her stop.

***

The next morning she got on the train hoping that she would see him again.
After she had gotten off the train yesterday, he was all she could think about.
She planned it out today.
She would sit in the same seat on the train, but this time she wouldn't be reading the newspaper.
She wanted to look available for conversation.
She found her seat.
And looked out the window at all that passed.
While, at the same time, clinging to this new feeling,
This hope and excitement.

***

He stood on the platform.
Waiting for the train and thinking of her.
She made him feel something that he had never felt in his life.
And the fact that he actually made her smile when he had never seen her smile before.
He saw the train coming down the tracks.
His heart picked up speed at the thought of what might happen next.

***

She saw him get on the train.
She watched him as he made his way towards her.
She smiled as he took the seat next to her.
"Hi," he said, "My name is..."

***

He was sitting next to her.
She was smiling, he was smiling.
He couldn't believe that he was actually talking to her.
He had told her his name and she had told him hers.
He thought it was a beautiful name.
They sat there talking until her stop came up.
He couldn't help but be happy.

***

Her stop was coming up, but she didn't want to get off the train.
This was the excitement she wanted.
He was the excitement she wanted.
To her, he was perfect.
So before she got off the train,
She made sure to say, "See you tomorrow."
She hoped that she would.
She knew that she would.

***

What happened that morning became routine.
They sat together on the morning train
Talking as much as possible before they would have to get off.
Some mornings he would bring coffee for her.
They were simply falling in love,
They couldn't help it.
And they couldn't get enough of their train rides.

***

It was 10pm on a Friday night.
They boarded the train, hand in hand.
It was the last train of the night,
The last train out of the city.
This was the trian that would take them to the rest of their lives.
The train that granted their every wish.
He finally had her
And she was finally getting out of this town.

A Million and One

A million things to do,
Yet if I could, I would drive the miles
In an instant
Just to be by your side.
You are my comfort,
My most fondest memory,
My best friend.
A million things to do,
The drive to you,
Makes a million
And one.

Understand

It’s like running on a treadmill,
Constantly moving, but never really getting anywhere.
Always waiting for them to understand
And they say that they do
But their actions show me that they don’t.
What is it about me
Or is it something about them?
This question lingers
It lingers in my brain
It lingers in my thoughts
In my soul
It lingers there for years
Until I finally figure out that
They will never understand
And
I will never understand
That is life
Running on a treadmill
Constantly moving
But never really getting anywhere.

-Untitled-

If this is the room where the flies come to die, then maybe this is where I will come to die and this broken heart will stop beating…
My life isn’t worth the living. All of my dreams are shattered like broken glass. I don’t know how my heart is still beating. I don’t know how my body is still functioning. I don’t want to forget your face, that freckle, but I can feel it slipping away. I DON’T WANT TO FORGET! I want to die remembering, remembering it all. So this is where the flies come to die, then this is where I’ll die too.
All of my life I knew happiness. And when I met him, he magnified that happiness. We laughed together; we kissed and when we kissed, I could no longer see straight; we hugged; we were pure; we were happy. We were us, plain and simple. Everything was perfect and we planned to spend forever together. We were forever…At least, he was supposed to be my forever.
That was until one day my world came crashing down and there was no longer any happiness and forever was no more. He left me, said his last goodbye. I was no longer what he wanted. He said I was too much to handle. And with that, he was gone…forever.
I no longer knew what to do. I kept watching the phone, waiting for his call that was never going to come. I lost all sense of who I was and what I loved. I could no longer breathe. I lost all awareness for what was around me. My life no longer had meaning. I kept searching. I had to search, though I knew not of what I was searching for. Something was just missing.
One day, I found an old abandoned house. Was this what I had been searching for? I entered the house and explored every room. That’s when I found it. It was dusty and dark, but it was beautiful to me. On every surface, there were dozens of flies, dead flies.
If this is where the flies come to die, then maybe this is where I will come to die and this broken heart will stop beating…
My life isn’t worth the living. All of my dreams are shattered like broken glass. I don’t know how my heart is still beating. I don’t know how my body is still functioning. I don’t want to forget your face, your freckle, but I can feel it slipping away. I DON’T WANT TO FORGET! I want to die remembering, remembering it all. So this is where the flies come to die, then this is where I will die too.
I found the bed in the corner of that dank room, the only surface the flies had yet to claim. I laid down and remembered it all. Your face; our first kiss; your gentle touch; your smile; your freckle; You.
That’s when I drew my last breath.
That’s when my broken heart finally stopped beating.
That’s when you became my forever.