It’s like running on a treadmill,
Constantly moving, but never really getting anywhere.
Always waiting for them to understand
And they say that they do
But their actions show me that they don’t.
What is it about me
Or is it something about them?
This question lingers
It lingers in my brain
It lingers in my thoughts
In my soul
It lingers there for years
Until I finally figure out that
They will never understand
And
I will never understand
That is life
Running on a treadmill
Constantly moving
But never really getting anywhere.
Sunday, October 25, 2009
-Untitled-
If this is the room where the flies come to die, then maybe this is where I will come to die and this broken heart will stop beating…
My life isn’t worth the living. All of my dreams are shattered like broken glass. I don’t know how my heart is still beating. I don’t know how my body is still functioning. I don’t want to forget your face, that freckle, but I can feel it slipping away. I DON’T WANT TO FORGET! I want to die remembering, remembering it all. So this is where the flies come to die, then this is where I’ll die too.
All of my life I knew happiness. And when I met him, he magnified that happiness. We laughed together; we kissed and when we kissed, I could no longer see straight; we hugged; we were pure; we were happy. We were us, plain and simple. Everything was perfect and we planned to spend forever together. We were forever…At least, he was supposed to be my forever.
That was until one day my world came crashing down and there was no longer any happiness and forever was no more. He left me, said his last goodbye. I was no longer what he wanted. He said I was too much to handle. And with that, he was gone…forever.
I no longer knew what to do. I kept watching the phone, waiting for his call that was never going to come. I lost all sense of who I was and what I loved. I could no longer breathe. I lost all awareness for what was around me. My life no longer had meaning. I kept searching. I had to search, though I knew not of what I was searching for. Something was just missing.
One day, I found an old abandoned house. Was this what I had been searching for? I entered the house and explored every room. That’s when I found it. It was dusty and dark, but it was beautiful to me. On every surface, there were dozens of flies, dead flies.
If this is where the flies come to die, then maybe this is where I will come to die and this broken heart will stop beating…
My life isn’t worth the living. All of my dreams are shattered like broken glass. I don’t know how my heart is still beating. I don’t know how my body is still functioning. I don’t want to forget your face, your freckle, but I can feel it slipping away. I DON’T WANT TO FORGET! I want to die remembering, remembering it all. So this is where the flies come to die, then this is where I will die too.
I found the bed in the corner of that dank room, the only surface the flies had yet to claim. I laid down and remembered it all. Your face; our first kiss; your gentle touch; your smile; your freckle; You.
That’s when I drew my last breath.
That’s when my broken heart finally stopped beating.
That’s when you became my forever.
My life isn’t worth the living. All of my dreams are shattered like broken glass. I don’t know how my heart is still beating. I don’t know how my body is still functioning. I don’t want to forget your face, that freckle, but I can feel it slipping away. I DON’T WANT TO FORGET! I want to die remembering, remembering it all. So this is where the flies come to die, then this is where I’ll die too.
All of my life I knew happiness. And when I met him, he magnified that happiness. We laughed together; we kissed and when we kissed, I could no longer see straight; we hugged; we were pure; we were happy. We were us, plain and simple. Everything was perfect and we planned to spend forever together. We were forever…At least, he was supposed to be my forever.
That was until one day my world came crashing down and there was no longer any happiness and forever was no more. He left me, said his last goodbye. I was no longer what he wanted. He said I was too much to handle. And with that, he was gone…forever.
I no longer knew what to do. I kept watching the phone, waiting for his call that was never going to come. I lost all sense of who I was and what I loved. I could no longer breathe. I lost all awareness for what was around me. My life no longer had meaning. I kept searching. I had to search, though I knew not of what I was searching for. Something was just missing.
One day, I found an old abandoned house. Was this what I had been searching for? I entered the house and explored every room. That’s when I found it. It was dusty and dark, but it was beautiful to me. On every surface, there were dozens of flies, dead flies.
If this is where the flies come to die, then maybe this is where I will come to die and this broken heart will stop beating…
My life isn’t worth the living. All of my dreams are shattered like broken glass. I don’t know how my heart is still beating. I don’t know how my body is still functioning. I don’t want to forget your face, your freckle, but I can feel it slipping away. I DON’T WANT TO FORGET! I want to die remembering, remembering it all. So this is where the flies come to die, then this is where I will die too.
I found the bed in the corner of that dank room, the only surface the flies had yet to claim. I laid down and remembered it all. Your face; our first kiss; your gentle touch; your smile; your freckle; You.
That’s when I drew my last breath.
That’s when my broken heart finally stopped beating.
That’s when you became my forever.
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